What is it with England and big stage football? The country has some of the most well paid players in the world and undoubtedly, we do have some real talent in the country, but put them together in one big team on the world stage and the team look like a bunch of kids on a Sunday afternoon on Hackney marshes.

Last night, England were knocked out of appearing in the Euro 2008 football championships - that’s right, not the tournament as that hadn’t even started yet but just the right to play in the contest. Watching my nation’s football team loose 3-2 at home to a Croatian side that had nothing to prove as they’d already qualified anyway was an embarrassment. The 2 goals we did score falsely compliment the team as the first was a dubious penalty awarded after one of our strikers was pulled slightly in the penalty box by his shirt.

Where now? Well, as I write this Steve McClaren has been summonsed to a FA emergency meeting so no guesses what comes next. The questions is, who will come next and will they do any better?

My favourite program of the year is back on British telly! After months of yearning, feverpitch began 2 weeks ago when we learnt the gorgeous Gemma Atkinson of Hollyoaks and FHM fame is one of the contenders! Whey hey! Can life get any better! Program starts tonight. Don’t expect to see much of me for the next 4 weeks!

There I was on Saturday, standing in the queue of our local Carrefor Supermarket (like Morrisons, only without the baseball cap wearing clientele) with a trolley full to the brim of food, Christmas presents and mostly alcohol, when I cast a sly glance to the queue next to me. An atrractive woman was standing there with her basket looking at me in a devilish way. And why not? I cast a peak at her shopping basket and noted a carton of skimmed milk, a bottle of decent wine (unlike my favoured cheapo plonk), some fresh veggies and camera film (does anybody still have a film camera?).

Then I realised, she wasn’t looking at me in a carnal lustful way at all….she was looking at me with a sort of snigger. Were my trousers undone? Maybe I’d left some remnants of my recently consumed lunch around my mouth (admittedly, this wouldn’t have been the first time)? But no…it wasn’t just me…she was laughing now at the whole queue! She was moving closer and closer to the check out whilst we all struggled with having trolleys whacked into our legs as those frustrated at getting past our extended line of baskets and trolleys tried barging their way through instead.

But why was her queue moving so fast and not ours? She was nearly served now! The bit*h! She is in the 10 items or less checkout! So, the supermarket has decided to reward those who would prefer to do the bulk of their shopping elsewhere with a quick checkout but us loyal customers who come back week after week for alcoholic supplies get punished with not only the long queues but the ugly check out girls too! How’s that for gratitude!???

The highlight of my year. The tension had been building for ages.  Deb said it was just some dodgy tapas, but I knew differently….the day had arrived and yesterday saw the doors of the new IKEA in Malaga open for the first time.  In true expat style, Deb and I warmed up with a beer in a nearby bar first before braving the final push into the carpark which is situated right at the end of Malaga airport.

The first thing that worried me was that this wasn’t like IKEA at all.  Not the one I knew so well anyway.  There was the inevitable queues to get in, this was a big event for Malaga by any measure, but the queues were orderly and very well managed by neon jacket clad youth.  In fact, one such ‘youth’ kindly found Deb a car parking space.

Inside was much of the same, hustle and bustle and slightly bewildered staff (who at this point were probably wondering what they had let themselves in for!) but everything was very orderly, and security was very tight and very noticeable (perhaps because of the proximity to Malaga’s main runway, literally metres away?)

After an hour or so of wandering around the strategically created paths, we bought our bits and pieces and paid at the checkout where again unlike the IKEA I know most well (Croydon, South London) we were met my two lovely girls, one of whom help pack.  In fact, despite us trying our finest Spanish, their English was actually better than what we’d normally been met with by Croydon’s finest employees.

On the way out, we detoured to the food store…IKEA weren’t prepared for this.  It’s all very well having free nibbles and giveaways for the British who are often too polite to grab a handful and walk off, but the Spanish etiquette is somewhat different, and what with being in Rome and all, Deb and I suitably obliged and stocked up with carbs and sucrose whilst paying for our Swedish purchases!

First impressions were that the store is very efficient.  How long until they reach Croydon’s standards?? And more importantly….can we keep away?!

After waiting a number of years to enter the fray and create my own blog, I have, within a fortnight of launcing NaturalBornLondoner.com taken over another Blog, this time entitled webmasterblend.com.

Webmasterblend.com is a grown up blog. Seriously, it is. It’s a blog for webmasters and designers across the world and obviously it fits well with my main business of web design and SEO. The previous owners had done a great job of not only creating the blog design and promoting it but also of writing some good content which fits so well with Hogtronix.

Pop over and take a look and see what you think for yourselves. I told you it was proper grown up!

It’s now a whole 2 years since Deb and I set off for a new life in Spain. In fact, 2 years ago to the day we were travelling from Cuenca to Murcia. We drove (in my little Mazda MX5) from London to Plymouth to catch the ferry and then drove from where it docked at Santander to Zaragoza for the first nights stopover, and then Cuenca for the 2nd night and Murcia for the 3rd, staying at lovely rural Posadas along the way.

So what’s happened in 2 years? Well, apart from changes to lifestyle from having moved from the UK it’s also changed again in that we also recently moved from where we originally settled here in Spain (Canillas de Albada, deep in the hills!) to Torrox Costa Penoncillo on the coast, just outside Nerja. We now rent a lovely penthouse apartment with views right across the sea. I love lying awake at night listening to the waves crashing.

We’re now at another crossroads having sold our mountain house….we are looking for our own apartment to buy down here on the coast. Watch this space…

As many of you will know I moved to Spain 2 years ago. A year ago, I imported a little Suzuki jeep for my wife which has earned it’s weight in gold, struggling up and down the mountains and along rugged tracks, often laden with half our worldly possessions.

It therefore came as no surprise therefore when, after 7 years, the cars battery finally gave way recently. Not a big deal but just a slight pain in the backside. Now, living in Spain has it’s advantages but one of the disadvantages of living in a larger country than the UK is the way shops and services are dispersed. Finding a battery won’t be easy…or so I thought.

I drove the 15 or so kilometres to Velez Malaga, along the coast from where I live. I figured this would be a good starting point as there is a car service centre at the end of the huge shopping complex there. I arrived at about 6pm (shops shut at either 8pm or 10pm here) and found the batteries…but no chart showing the applications. In my somewhat pathetic Spanish, I asked the two pretty girls sitting behind the counter with 2 mechanics leaning over and drooling, if they stocked a battery for a 2000 Suzuki Jimny.

Instead of smirking at my poor linguistic skills or grunting some muted reply one would expect (and has!) heard in a certain UK store when asking a civilised and simple question before, the 2 mechanics went looking for the battery amongst the rows of services items. There was coincidentally a Jimny in the service bays outside so one of the 2 guys went out and looked at the code on that and then came in and spoke to the 2 girls at the desk. Both girls then got on the phone and could be heard asking about a battery for a Suzuki Jimny.

After a few calls and 5 minutes or so, the mechanic who was obviously in charge, a guy or my age or slightly younger, came back to me and said they’d found one and that it would cost 66 Euros, but that it was in Torre Del Mar some 5 or 6Km away. ‘No problem’ I said but before I could finish, the guy told me that he’d go and get it for me and that he’d be 10 minutes.

I wandered around the store and sure enough, 10 minutes on the dot later a car screeched to a halt outside and the uy came in carrying the battery. He even insisted on showing me how to modify the bracket as the batteries (which are now non maintenance) fitted slightly differently in the car. What’s more, they only charged 62 Euro. Excellent service, and I’ve got to say, I’ve never had this level of effort afforded to me when buying car spares in the UK…